Feeling the holiday blues in the jolly season?
Five Ways Reflective Journaling Can Support Your Wellbeing During the Festive Season
T’is the season of joy and festivities. There’s a flurry of excited activity unfolding all around you. Setting up the Christmas tree, planning your festive menu, and shopping for the perfect gifts between a frenzy of entertaining family and friends. At least, for some. The holiday season can bring with it an expectation for lighthearted joyfulness. But what if that’s the last thing you feel like at this time? What if this time of year instead of a spirit of joy, you’re feeling the holiday blues?
That was the gist of a conversation I had with my therapist years ago. I couldn’t pretend anymore. Each year it was getting harder to navigate my way through this time of year. Christmas happens to overlap with my husband’s birthday. It was a challenge to make his birthday feel special while trying to re-create the childlike magic of Christmas for our daughters, and find time to spend with extended family. I was pulled in so many directions trying to keep everyone happy, that somewhere between Christmas and New Year’s morning, I always ended up in a pool of unjoyful tears.
For many, the festive season can be a bittersweet time. Unrealistic expectations, old losses, and holiday stress can overshadow the spirit of joy floating in the air.
‘First, it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Allow yourself space to feel both joy and sadness’, the therapist said. Simply give yourself permission to be honest about what you’re truly feeling. You don’t have to force yourself to feel jolly when you’re not.
Phew!
‘You mean I don’t have to pretend that all is okay and that this is the most wonderful time of the year?’
‘No, you don’t.’ she replied.
A welcome relief rushed through the weariness that governed my festive seasons for so many years.
‘What else can we do to better cope through this time?’ I asked.
You can re-negotiate how and with who you spend your time. Christmas is a season, not a day. You don’t have to visit every parent, every in-law, every aunt or friend on Christmas day. Spread the celebration across several days. It will slow things down and you can savour the time you do spend with your loved ones.
‘Why didn’t I think of that before?’ It seems so logical and simple.
In all the years of battling my way through this season, no one had ever given me permission to simply feel what I was feeling, including myself. It was a game changer.
The holidays can be hard for many, especially if you consider the global events of the past few years.
Another way to support yourself through the festive season is with reflective journaling.
Reflective journaling, or writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in an unfiltered way and in a private space, has been shown through scientific research to have mental and physical benefits that support wellness and personal growth. But exactly what does that mean in practical terms?
Your Journal is a Private, Supportive Resource
First, journaling offers you a private space to unravel your challenges, particularly if you don’t have people around you who don’t seem to understand you. Or, if they’re not equipped to support you. They may care about you but they may not be able to give the tools to cope in healthy ways with life. Journaling can help you recognise your ability to cope. Recalling how you navigated tough times this past year can help you cope in the present, and the future.
Journaling is a Safe Space to Vent Unfiltered Emotions
Second, journaling is a valuable tool to process life challenges in an emotionally safe context. Particularly, when you feel overwhelmed and your feelings seem out of control. This is when you risk saying or doing things you may later regret. Journaling is a safe place to vent and regain your emotional balance so that you’re able to respond to difficult situations in a rational, calm manner.
Journaling Can Help You Gain Clarity
Third, journaling is a creative space where you can let your imagination roam free to explore new goals and dreams. Particularly ideas that are not fully formed in your mind yet. It can also help you flesh out those vague ambitions and get clearer about those ideas and become comfortable to share your dreams with others clearly. Because once you share your goals and plans with others, a level accountability sets in that can add pressure to take action when you may not be ready to do so yet.
Journaling Can Help You Take Stock of Your Year
Fourth, reflective journaling nudges you to turn inward to take stock of what happened in your year. You can reflect on your highs, the lows, as well as your major milestones and achievements. Also, you can recall significant people who walked beside you at different points in the year and how they’ve supported you. It can help you put your experiences and relationships in greater context and tie together the threads of your life story.
Journaling Is a Way to Cultivate Gratitude
Finally, journaling is a great way to cultivate gratitude. You can do this by jotting down some simple everyday things you're thankful or for. This can be especially helpful if you notice yourself becoming discouraged about life and can’t seem to shake that feeling. Noticing and expressing gratitude is one way to shift you out of that negative spiral. It can help re-activate your resilience and creativity to find solutions to your problems rather than becoming overwhelmed by discouragement.
That’s not to say that you should ignore your challenges. The festive season can be tough for many. It's important to acknowledge that and be gentle with yourself as you navigate this month. Increasing your self-care habits at this time can also help you better cope and spark genuine inner joy. Think of two to three ways you can ramp up your self-care this holiday season.
As always, take care, and remember to travel gently through the midlife journey.
Glynis / The Midlife Introvert
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